Oops- I almost forgot to post something here this month, and I try to use this alternate blog at least that much, otherwise what's the point in keeping it? So here is something I wrote a few years ago, just because I have nothing else.
Although I don’t have any kids, I’ve already decided what I’m going to name my first-born: Trash Can! Isn’t that a great name? And my second child will carry the equally inspired moniker of Garbage Compactor. I can’t wait for the day. Whenever I mention this to girls I meet, though, they tend to stop calling or returning my calls. Which might explain why I don’t have any kids. Oh well, some day.
Names have gotten so boring these days. According to the Ministry of Child’s Names, the most common names for babies born in the last few years are Matthew for boys and Sydney for girls. Fine names, both, but don’t you think they lack in a certain amount of color? Of descriptive character? We just don’t have names anymore like the natives used to have- Sitting Bull, Crowfoot, Bearspaw, Walking Buffalo.
However, in China, the noble tradition of giving descriptive names still persists. In fact, every Chinese name means something. Let me first explain how Chinese names work- the surname is always given first, say Wang or Lee, then the given name, consisting of one or two characters. So, Jackie Chan’s Chinese name is Chan Kong Sang, which means “Born in Hong Kong” Chan. Just think of the daily stampede that occurred when Mrs. Chan called her son in for dinner: “Come eat, Born in Hong Kong!”
Other names in Chinese reflect the hopes and dreams of the parents. “Diligent Student”, “Great Engineer”, “Getting Rich” and “Ruler of the Universe” are common. During the early days of the Communist Revolution, many people changed their names to demonstrate their patriotism. “Forever Red”, “Building the Country” and “I Love Mao So Please Don’t Send Me To A Labor Camp” became commonplace.
Interestingly, during the huge famine that took place in the early Sixties, many peasant families took to naming their children very unpleasant, even insulting names, such as “Stupid Dog” or (my favorite) “Stinky Child”. Honestly! I’m not making this up. There was actually a very pragmatic reason for this- it was believed that, during those times of heartbreaking infant mortality rates, not even the devil would want a child named “Dumb as a Post.”
Of course, these days, people have once more returned to more traditional names. Some of which are very beautiful. “Graceful Phoenix”, “Enchanting Blossom”, “Spring Rain” and the like are often given to girls. For boys, “Steel”, “Strong Spirit” and “Tall Pine” are considered good and acceptable names.
When foreigners visit China, they are often given Chinese names, usually just transliterations of their English names into similar sounding, but meaningless, Chinese syllables. So my friend Darryl became Da Wei. Tiger Woods becomes Tai Guh Wu Zi. Bu the system I prefer is to receive a new Chinese name based not on sound, but on your personality.
In fact, I have this type of a Chinese name myself, which is the only name that many people in China know me by. It was given to me by my Chinese language teacher. She named me Mei De, which means “Beautiful Moral” literally, or in other words, “Virtuous” or “Righteous”. My surname is Wei, just because of its similarity to Waddell, so my full Chinese name is Wei Mei De. It is a pretty cool name and I wear it with pride, even if it is technically a girl’s name (shut up).
Chinese people are equally proud when they take on an English name, often of their own choosing. Jackie is a very popular name, for obvious reasons, but it isn’t as clear why some people would choose to name themselves “Milky”. Or Puma. One guy named himself Party- not because he liked to celebrate, but because he desperately wanted to join the Communist Party. Then they would ask you what you thought of their English name. “It is a very good name, don’t you think?”
“Umm, yeah, it’s very . . .unique.”
Not everybody chose such unusual names for themselves; one of my friends named himself Martin. He was always climbing trees and jumping around and seemed to be totally incapable of staying still, so we renamed him Monkey. For some reason he objected to this. Which was odd, because one of my Chinese teachers had introduced herself as Monkey Queen. So we dutifully called her Monkey Queen whenever we had a question.
The more I think about all these Chinese names, the more I think I’d like to change my mind about what to name my children. I think I’ll give them Chinese names. Pretty good idea, don’t you think? How about Tai Xian? Pretty, isn’t it? Yep, I think my mind is made up. Laji Tong Waddell. Has a nice ring. Want to know what Laji Tong means? Garbage Can.
