This is a play I wrote in Grade 7 or 8 for an assignment. Can't remember who Big Max is, exactly, whether he was an existing character or not. I present it as originally written:

Big Max and The Mystery of His Missing Identity

Narrator: Big Max woke up. In the background the spacechip burned.
Big Max: Ohhh. Where am I? What happened? Who am I?
Orchestra: gong
Big Max: I'll check my Holoidentity. Hmm. It says Max, World's Greatest Detective. Hey, Alien, where am I?
Alien: you are on Planet Niftawifta. I know you! you are Big Max!
Big Max: No, I am Mad Max!
Orchestra: ta tata ta!
Alien: No you're not. you're Big Max.
Big Max: I am Mad Max.
Narrator: Mad Max whipped out his gun and shot the alien.

Mad Max: I will have to get a ship and get off this planet. I see a city ahead. I will walk there.
Orchestra: temple blocks
Narrator: After several hours of wlaking Mad Max arrived.

Mad Max: Hey you, can you tell me where I can find a ship?
Little Max: Big Max, my brother. It has been many years since I saw you last.
Big Max: I am not Big Max.
Little Max: Ha ha. It is so good to see you a--
Narrator: Mad Max put his gun away and wandered until he found a ship yard.

Big Max: This looks like a nice ship. I'll take it. I wonder how you work it. Push this button here. Holy mon, cow! Whoa! What happened to the rest of the shipyard? All I see is fire. Push another button. Ahhh there I am. Where to? I don't remember where I live I lost my holoidentity.
Gibblewikjig: Freeze dirtbag. This is my ship!
Mad Max: It's mine now. Tell me how to operate it or I'll open the airlock.
Gibblewikjig: No not that! Press that button to your left. No not that one, yeah that one.
Mad Max: Why does it say transporter?
Gibblewikjig: Oh that's Gibblish for, uh, warp drive.
Mad Max: You press it.
Gibblewikjig: I just remembered, it's that other button.

Mad Max: I'll let you navigate to the nearest hospitable planet that has a bar.
Gibblejig: that would be Shrintoff. I think that you;re my kind of guy.
Mad Max: How far is it?
Gibblejig: Only 7 days on warpdrive.
Mad Max: Good. Head for it.
Orchestra: cowbells
Gibblejig: Uh, the ship might need a little work. that's the reason my ship was in that spacedeck. I have to suit up and go outside.
Mad Max: I have to shave first. This mustache has top go. I need the Don Johnson {Editor: This puts the vintage at about 1986 or 87} look. Then I'll help.
Narrator: It took Big . . .Mad Max and Gibblejig 3 standard days to fix the ship.
Gibblejig: Finally we're finished. Now we can go to Shrintoff.
Orchestra: Xylophone
Gibblejig: So everyone says you are Big Max, but you know that you are Mad Max. You're Holoidentity only says MAx, World's Greatest Detective, but you don't remember being a detective, but you still have your detective training. So I think you should become Mad Max, Thunderdome's Greatest Detective.
Orchestra: gong
Mad Max: What's Thunderdome?
Gibblejig: Gibblish for the Universe.
Mad Max: It sounds like a good idea, but if word of what I did spreads around, no one's going to hire me. I vote we turn around and blow Niftawifta to a Grillion little pieces.
Gibblejig: It would be hard to cover up the destruction a whole entire planet. The coppers would catch you and blow you out of the airlock, shoot you and then throw you to some sort of carnivourous animal.
Mad Max: Maybe you're right. But then I could become Mad Max, destroyer of planets, stealer of ships, avoider of cops, and shooter of anyone who calls me Big Max.
Narrator: The ship-to-ship intercom beeped.
Orchestra: Temple blocks twice
Alien: Interstellar Police Force. You're ship number goes with the number of the ship that was stolen and hijacked on the planet Niftawifta. Identify yourself or get sucked out of your airlock, shot and fed to some animal.
Gibblejig: This is Gibblejig, the Gibblian from Gibble. The hijacker has been gotten rid of.
Alien: Very well proceed. I have to look for Big Max, who is at large.
Mad Max: No one calls me Big Max and gets away with it. I'm Mad Max.
Gibblejig: oh no. Mad Max, push the red button that says fire.
Mad MAx: I remember this one. I pressed it in the shipyard.
Alien: If our suspicions are correct, Wibblewig, you are harbouring a detionably {I have no idea- Ed.} dangerous diminal.
Gibblejig: Too bad sucker! You're dead meat now. And it's Gibblejig!
Alien: Resisting arrest . . .
Gibblejig: Now wait a minute. You never said you were going to arrest me.
Alien: Must've slipped my mind. You are.
Gibblejig: For what?
Mad Max: Should I press the button yet?
Gibblejig: Wait a minute. For what, copper? Why am I under arrest?
Alien: Because I heard someone babble about Sad Max. That means that Big Max . . .
Mad Max: I warned you, copper. I don't


Umm, that's all there is- I must have lost the rest of it. Maybe it will turn up later, or maybe it is lost forever. Which might be just as well, as there is already more than enough copyright infringement to go around . . .   ¶ 12:14 AM